What was so special about 1999?  The fact that my family (husband, 10 and 8yr old daughters) and I chose to take a ‘life experience year’ and get to know our roots.  I know, every so often you read about people going to Slovenia and falling in love with it and their life changing forever, blah, blah, blah…  I hope that my story is a little more objective than all of that soppy stuff, but maybe not.

I was born in Slovenia and left it to live in Australia when I was almost 3.  I suppose then I felt Slovenian, but somewhere in my youth that changed and I became a very proud and patriotic Australian Slovenian (with the emphasis on Australian).  I was fortunate to marry a second generation Slovenian and so kept quite a strong link happening with the Slovenian community here in Sydney.  To cut a long story short, after a quick trip to Slovenia in 1997 (not my first) I suddenly saw it with fresh eyes and realised that it did have a very strong influence on the person that I was and that it held many people whom I needed to know better.  So the decision was made for the family to rent out our home, put our jobs on hold and generally live for the moment (for a year!), and experience life as Slovenian citizens.
We took this opportunity to travel other parts of the world (USA, many European countries and Thailand) but Slovenia was our focal point and we spent approximately 9-10 months being its residents.  The decision to experience Slovenia was our own, so we were very aware not to make it anyone else’s problem.  Rather than living with relatives or using other peoples transport, our first priorities were to set ourselves up with car and apartment.  Not having unlimited financial resources, our original plan was to look for a humble abode.  Unfortunately our tastes and previous habits meant that nothing we saw in terms of humble was satisfactory.  So we reassured ourselves that we had to consider our comfort if we were to survive as a family for this length of time living in each others pockets.  We ultimately found a furnished apartment which was certainly not in the humble range and proceeded to fill parts of it to make it our home.  All our visitors (both Australian and Slovenian) were very impressed by our residence, however we were very well aware that our monthly rental costs were higher than most peoples total monthly salary in Slovenia.  The car was much less extravagant (although larger than the average Slovenian vehicle) but it served us well for all of the travelling we did both within our new home and around Europe.

Slovenia’s natural beauty was of course the first thing that hit us on our arrival.  The love from our relatives was another and the interesting difference in our cultures all made instant impressions on us.  Not everything however was so fuzzy and warm.  Almost instant to our arrival was the realisation that we would be experiencing regular frustration in dealing with Slovenian bureaucracy.  Trying to do anything official (no matter how basic) lead to a constant set of processes that seemed to be never ending.  For example, registering the car was a massive, time consuming task, even though we had checked out the rules and procedures prior to purchasing.  When arriving at Mackova (registry office) with all the correct paper work, we were told that temporary residents were unable to register cars in Slovenia (even though we have Slovenian citizenship) – this happened to be the gentleman’s personal opinion only, but we had to run around Ljubljana a few times to find that out for sure. Finally, after successfully getting hold of the registration papers, we thought that we would test the system out again and so lost them three days Mackova!

Selling our car at the end of the year proved to be even more complicated:  go to a bookstore, buy the ‘Selling your car’ form, fill it out with the new owners, take it to a notary and have them sign it, go back to Mackova with your plates and the new owner who will get provisional plates, give the forms to the new owner and then they can start with the migraine that we went through at the beginning.  Now I know why people refer to Aussies as laid back.  We get the money from the owner and get them to sign our old rego form.  That’s it!

Finally having the car registered drove us to our next discovery.  Slovenians in general, are very racist people.  We had green number plates on our car (temporary residents), and thus most people presumed that we were from southern former Yugoslav republics.  We were often harassed by people and called “Bosanci” in a tone that meant the low-life of the planet.  Coming from Australia where racism is frowned upon, I had many interesting debates.  I’m not sure that my  point was always understood but as my tongue doesn’t behave well between my teeth I had to keep trying.  Some of our relatives seemed to feel superior in culture to us because they never walked barefoot, and they certainly didn’t allow a breeze to flow through their homes.  We were often roused on for not having our ‘copate’ on and when in the car with some Slovenians we were not allowed to have the windows open – even on the hottest summer days.  Leading to near asphyxiation on numerous occasions. 
Apart from these differences in lifestyle, culture and custom, we felt very quickly at home in this little land.  We joined the Delovska library in Ljubljana for internet access and suddenly found ourselves within a new family.  The staff treated us with immense kindness.  They sent chocolates home to the girls and always inquired about our welfare.  This caring attitude was reflected in many people we met along our travels.  Our landlady became a surrogate grandmother for our children, our postman seemed to know all about our lives and the women at the local shop made allowances for our children when they tried to purchase basic necessities with their broken Slovenian.

Our daughters attended a normal Slovenian school for a number of months and our whole family was welcomed into the school community as though we were permanent members.   The school system however was immensely different to ours.  School lasted from 8am to 12.30am and the noise level in and out of class was incredible. We were to find out that this was not unusual for a Slovenian school, but our children found it difficult to adapt.  They did, however, enjoy being used as English tutors by most of their friends and thus their Slovenian remains abysmal.

Another highlight for our whole family was experiencing life in a country where the seasonal changes are extreme.  Australia’s seasons are usually a variation on “hot”.  In Slovenia we enjoyed similar activities in the summer months as we do here, but living through a real winter was fantastic.  Of course we skied, skated and tobogganed but just looking out of the window and seeing the world around us change into a white fairytale land was an experience we will treasure for a very long time.  Our oldest daughter often stood at the window and would comment in amazement “And we’re actually living in this, not just having a skiing holiday!”  The changes in colour of the forests and fields also left pictures in our minds that will not be soon erased as Spring and Autumn took over the land.

It became apparent that just as in my youth, a subtle change was occurring to my ethnicity and the balance being tipped to my Slovenian side, here in the country of my birth.  In some ways my fairytale has come to an end.  Never again will I be fully content in my chosen home (one that I love and know I will never leave) as I carry within me a hole that can only be filled in Slovenia.  The problem is, when in Slovenia I have in me a hole that can only be filled in Australia.  I am now in the same position as my parents and the people of their generation were in – I have two homes and can never be truly happy in either.

Rather than grieving the loss of my fairytale life, I have to teach myself to be grateful for the opportunity I had.  I grew so much as a person that I can no longer be filled by one country alone.  I am eternally grateful to the people who I have fallen in love with, who helped me experience more intense feelings than I have felt for a long time and who I must now work towards returning to.  If you ever get the chance, go back home and fall in love – it’s a wonderful chapter to add to your fairytale!